This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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