Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Randomize
