Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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