after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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