the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
