maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
