when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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