Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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