She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
