just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
