my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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