she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He shit in the fireplace
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
