Yo dont text me then not text me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
