I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
