I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
