butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
