is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
