The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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