I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
