Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
