i was born a porn star she said
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
