Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
