before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
