i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he fucked my hip out of place.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
