Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
