stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
