OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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