He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
