Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
