been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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