Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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