i just wanna soil my oats bro
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
