the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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