? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
