just survived the first fart of the relationship.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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