I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
