i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
