It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
