took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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