My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
