his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
