3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
