We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
my poor anus
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
