eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We have started to decorate penises.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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