Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
