my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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