I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm passing your future prison.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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