4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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