Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
