I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
