Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
