Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
