not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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