so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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