pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
